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I never thought this day would come. I no longer exist on Earth, but my impact I placed on that planet will remain there for decades to come. Confused? Well, let me explain.
I am Joseph Stalin, formerly known as Vissarion Dzhugashvilli or Koba. Born as the son of a shoemaker I did not start off my life greatly. I was always smart though and my genius shone through when I received a scholarship to the Orthodox Theological Seminary. However, just because I was smart didn't mean that I was well disciplined. I was expelled just before my graduation in 18. Did you think that expulsion would stop me from putting on the role as a bad boy? Well, think again because that was just the beginning of it all.
I was in trouble with authorities so much that I even took on another identity. I called myself and made others refer to me as Koba, role modeled after the "the famous Georgian outlaw 'Nunu"(Cooper). I was in and out of jail from about 100 to 11. After that, I did numerous things such as little jobs for Russia, but little did they know that this would give me a lifetime membership into the military.
My position in Russia greatened with each new post. Before I knew it I held all of Russia in my hands. How did I accomplish this great task you may ask? Well, it was quite simple. It all started when Lenin died. After that there was nobody in charge, but the people who tried had no success because I pushed them out. I wasn't about to watch the USSR fall apart before my very eyes. Yes, my competition consisted of brilliant men; however, who could be more intellectual than the almighty Stalin? By 18 I was confident that nothing could step in my way.
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My country was way out of date, so I decided to change the agriculture and industry in it. I forced all peasants to modernize. They had to use advanced machinery and if they didn't agree with me or they couldn't afford it, then they would starve. If they didn't starve, then I would have to jump in the picture and kill them. It was as simple as that. If they rejected my methods, then they had a problem because I would send the poor imbecile to labor camps. They would work there for about ten years before they would die of exhaustion. Quality was not so supreme in our products, but numbers were everything.
After this reform I instituted, a plan was devised against me to get me thrown out of power. It was that Sergei Kirov he was such a goody-goody. I know what he would say, "I will save all mankind from the evil idealistic Stalin." As it turned out, he was not as much of a "hero" as he was a "zero". Once I heard of his plot against me, then I had not only him, but also all of his co-conspirers killed. From then on my suspiciousness towards everyone greatened.
One thing you have to learn about me is I never want to hear the name Adolph Hitler again. He is a good for nothing, dirty thief. Okay, I don't just hate this man for no reason. Believe it or not we used to be friends. We made a pact saying that my country could avoid being majorly involved in war and could free hand in Eastern Poland and the Baltic States. In return, they would receive food and supplies from Russia. Hitler and I would split Europe and conquer. But no, that one morning made our plans take a fall. The German armies attacked my country. I had no idea it was coming. Once I took grip on what was happening then I took control of the Soviet armed forces. Luckily, we managed to defeat them. Let's just say I didn't make any more "deals with the devil" after that.
When the war ended I felt very powerful. I was about to reform the families of my country, so I prepared it. Right before I put my plan into effect I felt a sudden headache! The next thing you hear in the news headlines is "Dictator dies of Brain Hemorrhage." Rest in Peace, Stalin. 187-15.
Okay, so my life wasn't perfect, but I do have to say I was mighty and I could've made Russia even better than I already had. I felt my life was very successful and helped form the way that Russia is today. No, I do not regret my actions. If I regret anything it would be dying, but I had no control over that. Maybe if I could've lived a few more years then I could've found the cure for everlasting life. You never know with me. I was an incredible man and will continue to reign…wherever I may be.
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